Ten Things I Want To Ask When Ordering February 1, 2013

1. McDonald’s: “So….Chicken McNuggets…Are those still a thing?”

2. McDonald’s: “I know there are 10,000 different cows that go into each of your burgers…but is one of those cows REALLY delicious? Would make it totally worth it.”

3. Taco Bell: “Can I get my tacos with real meat this time?”

4. Dunkin’ Donuts: “Tell me the truth…I won’t tell. Who really has the best donuts? You, or the Dunkin Donuts half a mile west, or the Dunkin Donuts half a mile east?”

5. Subway: “Is there a place I can eat fresh and eat something that actually tastes good? Oh right. Anwhere that isn’t here.”

6. Burger King: “What exactly are you the king of? Wherever it is, I think they should switch to a democracy.”

7. Taco Bell: “I know you stick your ‘meat’ into a dirty refrigerator for weeks at a time…it’s like a dorm room! No wonder every college student eats here! Wait…that isn’t really a question.”

8. Starbucks: “Is there anything that is one buck here? Shouldn’t you call yourself starstarstarstarstarbucksbucksbucksbucksbucks?”

9. Wendy’s: “If you can promise me that Dave Thomas’s frozen corpse wasn’t accidently put into the meat…I guess I’ll have a double.”

10. KFC: “Maybe you should switch to turkey. Chicken isn’t really your thing.”

 

Maybe Poet Laureate Makes Sense, Part Two January 28, 2013

To continue the track by track analysis of quotes from the Mountain Goats’ Transcendental Youth…

Track seven: “Night Light”

“Jenny calls from Montana/She’s only passing through/Probably never see her again in this life, I guess/Not sure what I’m going to do.”

It’s hard not to find songs about lost loves, and I’ve always been particular to them…how do you feel about the girl you probably will never see again? Do you treasure the time you spent together, or mourn the fact that they will probably only be remembered in photographs?

Track eight: “The Diaz Brothers”

“Hear my rivals on the western wind/Hard to know who might or might not be your friend.”

This song was hard to find a good quote for, although it is one of my favorites due to the extreme catchiness…who is a friend and who is not? Who do you feel is a friend today, but not tomorrow? Life is full of these choices.

Track nine: “Counterfeit Florida Plates”

“Wait for the coming disaster/I could do this all day”

Patience may be a virtue, but man was not very well equipped with that trait. One thing I know about myself is that if I just sit around and wait for bad things to happen, eventually they will.

Track ten: “In Memory of Satan”

“Locked up in myself/Never gonna get free”

Similar to the themes of the previous quote. The more time you spend inside your own head, the more trouble you’re going to face. I’ve always been an overthinker, and that is about as bad of a trait as you can possibly have in this life.

Track eleven: “Spent Gladiator II”

“Stay alive/Maybe spit some blood at the camera/Just stay alive/Stay forever alive”

This sounds so Hunger Games-ish to me. I read it for the first time a few months ago and it is a pretty common theme in our minds…that we are being watched closely by everyone. And it probably isn’t that true. People are not thinking about every move you make. Meaning…relax and enjoy it.

Track twelve: “Transcendental Youth”

“Sing/Sing high/While the fire climbs/Sing one for the old times”

Go out in a blaze of glory…

 

Maybe Poet Laureate Makes Sense…(Part One) January 26, 2013

A few weeks ago, a petition was making the rounds on the internet calling for John Darnielle, the leader (and, truthfully, only member) of the indie folksters The Mountain Goats, to be named Poet Laureate of the United States. It seems extremely doubtful that this petition is going to gain any traction whatsoever. However, listening to Darnielle’s latest release, Transcendental Youth, I’m thinking the petition may have a point.

It’s rare that a record has so many memorable lines. In nearly every song, there is at least one line that makes me think, something quotable that leads the brain to ponder something noteworthy about the human condition.

So, for fun, let’s go through Transcendental Youth and think about some of these lines.

Track one: “Amy (AKA Spent Gladiator I)”

“Do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive/Do every stupid thing to try to drive the dark away.”

Starting off the album, “Amy” opens by throwing caution to the wind. Today there are simply hundreds of things that we can’t do and very few that we feel comfortable doing. It’s scary sometimes. But as another noted philosopher (Homer….Simpson) exclaims, stupid risks are what make life interesting.

Track two: “Lakeside View Apartments Suite”

“Days like dominoes, all in a line/We cheer for the home team, every time.”

Sometimes life gets too monotonous. We need to spice things up or we start to go a little insane. Doing the same thing over and over again is going to get the same result, over and over again.

Track three: “Cry for Judas”

“Some people crash two or three times and then learn from their mistakes/We are the ones who don’t slow down at all/And there’s nobody there to catch us when we fall.”

Most people feel that they do a terrible job of learning from their mistakes, and everybody else is able to stop a problem when it starts. But, in truth, in most cases people make the same mistakes over and over again, and eventually there is no safety net. We are flawed beings.

Track four: “Harlem Roulette”

“The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you’re never going to see again.”

I think there are two ways of looking at this. One, in a negative way, that we can’t save the lost. I tend to look at it in a more positive way. The people who have hurt us usually do it out of something lacking in their lives. They can’t solve their own issues, so they (intentionally or uninentionally) lash out at others. Reading this reminds me that the most terrible people I have ever come into contact with are, for the most part, out of my life forever, and I can resolve to meeting people who are not ready to strike at any given moment.

Track five: “White Cedar”

“I don’t have to be afraid/I don’t want to be afraid/And you can’t tell me what my spirit says isn’t true, can you?”

It’s easy to be afraid when you listen to what other people say more than your own intuition. Life is about trusting our instincts and knowing the paths to follow.

Track six: “Until I Am Whole”

“I think I’ll stay here until I feel whole again/I don’t know when”

Sometimes taking the first step is the hardest. But we always want to wait until everything is ready and we are perfect. But that will never happen. Something will always be amiss. It’s part of the human experience.

(Tracks 7-12 in part two)

 

Drive, drive, drive January 21, 2013

One thing that has clearly been lost due to the increase in gas prices over the past decade is the joyride. It still exists, sort of. But we always feel a little bit guilty about it, or at least there are little thoughts in the back of our minds that we need to accomplish something while we’re out. It’s hard to rationalize just getting in the car and driving just for the fun of it.

I remember–and this may be apocryphal–seeing gasoline for 97 cents in New Jersey when I was a teenager. It may have been from when I was four, it is impossible to recollect for certain. However, it just brings to mind visions of how things would be different if you could fill up your tank for that kind of price again. I can’t say my life would be 100% different, obviously. But would I drive more? Absolutely. Would I drive out of state for no particular reason? Take more day trips? Take more weekend trips? Without a doubt. That is what we are missing by being born a few decades too late, in some respects.

Keep on Driving November 18, 2012

I don’t think there is anyone on the planet who doesn’t have something in their past that they look back on and say, “what was I thinking there?” I feel I have more than most, but there is one thing in particular that instead of thinking I was being stupid, I was simply acting strangely.

When I graduated college and was taken aback by the fact that no major magazines were lining up to hire a creative writing major with no magazine experience, I realized I had to get some sort of job so I didn’t just sit around all day and play video games (a 22 year-old’s dream, but not exactly realistic). I began by looking for positions in retail, and as an active reader/writer, I initially focused my search on bookstores. Noticing that a Borders (RIP) about 35 minutes away was hiring, I applied and was hired.

Of course, 35 minutes is a long way to go to work a retail job, and there was a Borders location about 8 minutes away from where I was living. So did I try to transfer to the nearby location? Never.

There were two reasons for this, one logical, one totally unlogical. The logical reason was simply that I liked my co-workers, and didn’t want to leave them. However, there has always been a part of me that wants to have nothing to do with my past, and I didn’t want to work at the nearby location for the simple reason that I would run into people I went to school with. So rather than seeing somebody from my past once a month or so, I decided to run and hide.

There is something about reflection that makes what is sensible at the time crazy, and this is a definite case of this. I was painfully shy in high school, a quality that I quickly shed once I got to college. But I realized that the people in my hometown had an expectation of me that I had no interest of ever revisiting. So I avoided the situtation to the best of my ability to running away, even when jobs at the closer location opened up, rather than be reminded of my younger self.

Back then, I had an overwhelming desire to be a new person, and I still think that desire is present on occasion. There are parts of my past I have no interest in thinking about, and parts I want nothing better to revisit. It all depends. However, I look back and think how silly it was to completely avoid the past. Some things we just need to confront, whether we like it or not.

The Steps in Writing a Novel June 28, 2012

I refuse to comment on whether or not this is autobiographical.

1. Around 1 am, have a brilliant idea for a novel.

2. The next day, write the first three chapters in a burst of inspiration.

3. Get a little stuck. Take a break for a few days.

4. Write the fourth chapter, but have a little bit of a brain freeze about what should come next.

5. Instead of going further, edit the first few chapters. It’s best to make them coherent as possible before really attacking the next couple chapters.

6. Write chapters five and six after realizing that you are an “artist” and have a story to tell.

7. Start to realize that the story is too autobiographical. Try to think of ways to make the novel a little more unique.

8. Write chapter 7, which ends up being half the length of the previous six chapters, simply because you can’t think of anything else to say.

9. Put the novel on the shelf for a few weeks, or months. Whatever it takes.

10. Start a short story, which will be abandoned about 11 paragraphs in.

11. Get annoyed at yourself for ignoring the novel. Write one more chapter.

12. Realize you have very little interest in the main characters anymore. Maybe this could be a novella?

13. Send the novel to a friend to see if they can give you feedback.

14. Get no more feedback then “I love it.” Gives inspiration to write another chapter.

15. Back on the shelf for another few weeks, or months, or however long it takes to want to write again.

16. Have a great idea for the rest of the book. Outline the remaining chapters.

17. Look back a few days later, and outline is terrible. Try another short story.

18. Outline again. This time, aliens may or may not be involved.

19. Get really frustrated at yourself for not sticking to anything. Write one more chapter.

20. Now, you really hate the characters. They are so incredibly boring and not life-like. Re-edit the chapters, finding more things you can’t stand about the novel and “correcting” them, only to be re-edited later.

21. Blog to avoid writing a novel.

22. Repeat steps 9-21 until book is finished or thrown out of the window.

Casting A Type June 22, 2012

I found this article online, and I found it incredibly fascinating to see how people with disabilities respond to television characters with a similar handicap.

http://juststimming.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/someone-who-moves-like-you/

Since it debuted, I haven’t exactly hidden the fact that I think Community was the best show on television, not just for the breadth of humor but for the complexity of its characters. While most sitcoms are just looking to fill a role with a one-dimensional representation of a certain type of person that works for the show, Community has a lot more depth and features a full cast of characters that are not simple.

In her blog post, an autistic writer named Julia talks about how Abed Nadir (played by Danny Pudi) is the first autistic character on television that she can actually identify with. We all know that there are numerous characters on television who appear to be on the autism spectrum–House, Sherlock, Sheldon Cooper, etc. But Julia found Abed to be the first character that wasn’t a characture, and that it made her finally feel like there people on TV like her. The others just don’t cut it. As she writes: They are socially awkward/anti-social/socially maladapted, eccentric geniuses free of any serious adaptive functioning limitations, motor issues, sensory sensitivities, or language differences, able to manage independently in all major areas of daily living, with a bonus side of savant skills and the empathic range of a rock. They’re awesome, but they’re a stock character, and they manage to simultaneously hint at the autistic experience without actually meaning it.

However, Abed is different. Abed Nadir walked around like a bird or a giraffe, and he couldn’t do thumbs-up and he talked too fast and knew too many things and he was sharp and suspicious and easy and trusting. He did things that were simultaneously uncanny/creepy and sweet/thoughtful, and he couldn’t do bills or read clocks but he could tell psychiatrists to fuck off and he could fight with his best friend when his best friend tried to take charge, and he was jealous and sharp with his crushes. He had friends and private worlds, and all the scars that come from growing up a mistake, and things were imperfect and messy and painful and visceral but he always emerged okay.

I do think we forget sometimes that our television characters don’t represent the groups that they are supposed to, simply because it’s easier to write for one-dimensional people than it is for three-dimensional. A good read that gets the LFS top recommendation.

A Theme October 11, 2011

I have long avoided a cohesive theme for this blog. Simple reason for this—I wanted the freedom to write about whatever lunacy popped into my head. I could write about music, television, movies, pop stars, or I could write about the random nonsense that happened in my everyday life. Nothing was off-limits.

 However, not having a cohesive theme also led me to not be able to promote anything. If I told somebody I had a blog, there was no way to describe it. There was no way to get other people to write for a site that really had no point.

Eventually, it felt like not having a theme had more disadvantages than advantages. First of all, themes can be incredibly loose. If an occasional idea that doesn’t strictly conform to a basic format is something I want to write about, the blog police aren’t going to arrest me.

 I titled this blog Letters From Suburbia way back when for reasons I can’t really recall. I mostly liked the sound of it. I’ve always been a suburbanite, so really it just meant that this was writing from somebody in the suburbs. Clear enough.

But what does it mean to be from suburbia? It certainly is a drag, in many ways. A lot of time, it seems like issues are being beaten to death, and they aren’t even the issues we should be discussing. Cultured people are rare, and it can often be difficult to even engage in a meaningful conversation.

So consider this my meaningful conversation. Letters from Suburbia will bring up ideas and thoughts that I feel aren’t being addressed by other sources. It will counteract the lack of intelligent discourse of the world at large.

Now does that mean I will finally update regularly? That—you’ll just have to keep an eye on.

Everyone Needs an Excuse September 7, 2011

From Buzzsaw Haircut, the literary magazine of my alma mater:
“I’ve cheated on every boyfriend I’ve had. It’s not that they aren’t good enough for me, I just can’t help myself sometimes. I’ve never heard of this gene, and maybe it’s the reason I am more likely to cheat.”

This is from an article about a gene that supposedly makes people more likely to be unfaithful. Ok, now we are just getting silly. As science has become more precise, so have excuses. Whatever happened to just doing bad things because we’re human?

That is the problem. There is a human desire to make everything somebody else’s fault. Responsibility is never our own. We were made with something bad in us, so when it comes out, well, I couldn’t help it.

As a society, we need to admit our failings and not look for ways to make it not our fault. We’re human. We screw up. But that doesn’t make it some cosmic thing out of our control. We’re all unique, but we aren’ t all just a collection of genes that makes decisions for us. Take some responsibility.

The Crazy People That Make U.S. History Interesting August 14, 2011

I am a history nerd. That is not a secret. A lot of people think history is boring, but it depends on what it is. If you’re reading about George Washington in a textbook, yeah, can be boring. But lunatics, crazy people, and socially-inept creatures are always interesting.

Here are three noteworthy individuals (Sadly, for bad reasons):

1. William Walker–Walker was a lawyer and journalist who one day decided, like any sane person, that he would like to raise an army and take over a Central American country. So he did.  In 1855, when he undertook the expedition, he had already conquered Baja California with an army of 45. No sweat. He needed more, so he raised an army of about 300 and took over Nicaragua. Literally. He was recognized as the President of the country for almost a year, before being forced out of office. When he tried to return to the area in 1860, he was executed.

2. Henry Rathbone–Trivia question: How many people in President Lincoln’s box at Ford’s Theatre were murdered? The answer? Two. (Another question you can ask is how many people in the box were later in a mental hospital–also two). Rathbone and his fiancee Clara Harris were in the box with Abraham and Mary, sitting next to them, when Booth killed Lincoln. They were powerless to stop him, although Rathbone did his best to disarm the assassin afterwords.

Sadly, that is not the end of the story. In 1883,  Rathbone murdered Clara (and unsuccessfully tried to kill their children and himself). He spent the rest of his life in an insane asylum in Germany.

3. Charles Guiteau–Upset that he was passed over for the job as ambassador to France, despite the fact that he had no qualifications whatsoever, Guiteau did the country a favor (in his own mind) by murdering President Garfield. Guiteau had a history of rejection. He joined a sex cult, but nobody would sleep with him–they nicknamed him “Charles Gitout.” He managed to be a loser in just about every way possible. In the end, he managed to succeed in two things: killing the president, and being hung. But that’s about it.

Taking a Stand Against the Gleeification of the U.S. August 9, 2011

I’ve never watched Glee. If I did, I imagine my eyes would bleed, quickly and painfully. I have no interest in writing about the show as television, but as a movement.

What Glee does is turn popular kids into the geeks they never were. And THIS I have a major problem with.

I try not to pay attention to the show or the buzz that it receives, but one thing I have noticed is that fans of this monstronsity of a program call themselves “Gleeks.” Fine, a simple and potentially clever way of punning the show’s title. I get that.

And if these people were geeks who were unpopular and awkward in high school, it would make sense. But there is a major and incredibly irritating problem with this sentiment–almost all Glee fans I know were not geeks in school–they were popular, non-geeky, and socially adjusted.

What is it about the past that makes people pine to be bigger losers than they actually were? There’s an oft-repeated statistic about wealth in the United States–19% of people believe they are in the top 1% of earners. Clearly, this is a mathematical impossibility, so they are not all that rich.

It appears that nerds are the same way. It feels like 75% of Americans want to believe that they were among the 5 nerdiest, least socially-adept people in their high school. Your later success comes after being picked on in high school. But your shirt being called weird once doesn’t make you a geek. You were not one. And you can’t be one retroactively. You can’t pine for the days that never were.

I don’t care for Glee–I find it annoying, and pointless, and stupid. That much can be gleaned solely from the commercials I’ve had to watch. However, it becomes offensive to me on a personal level when the head cheerleader wants to remember her days as an weirdo. NO. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO. Real geeks can be attracted to this show. I don’t care. But I refuse to allow non-geeks to commandeer our word. I’m not going to accept that without a fight.

 

Temporary Friends July 22, 2011

About a month ago, I went to a wedding. At this wedding, I knew three people–the bride, the groom, and the best man. And, at least in my network of friends, the feeling at a social event where you don’t really know anybody is kind of awkward. You really only have two options:

1) Ignore everybody, and act like a giant weirdo.

2) Try to make small talk with some strangers.

I usually chose option 1. (Or, the offshot of it, don’t go at all.) I feel like I grew up in a world where everything has a point. And I never understood making small talk with people you’d never see again. What’s the point of that? You’re not gaining anything from it. You’re not really giving anything to the other person. All you’re doing is fighting boredom for a few moments.

For whatever reason, I would act this way. That unless you were in a situation where there was some tangible benefit to engaging with somebody, what’s the point? Now, if you asked me about it, I would have never actually admitted to that. I never had those thoughts. I’ve always been reserved, and it takes real energy for me to meet people. I’m not the life of the party and I never will be. So to spend up social energy on people who you will never see again–how could that be worth it?

As I’ve gotten older, this mindset has started to fade. For me, meeting people is not as hard anymore. I’m not as quiet as I used to be, and now I can just talk to people with no agenda. It makes you more real. You don’t need anything from the person, you’re just celebrating being alive.

Case(s) in point–the short chat with the storeowner. These people are dwindling by the day, as Walmarts and Starbucks and their ilk dominate the landscape, but it is always nice to see somebody who has their own interesting place of business, specialized, and it’s great to talk to them for a few brief moments and then go on your way.

In June, I was taking a huge test. When I was there, a girl, fresh out of college named Amber started talking to me about the test, and we just struck up a conversation about our lives and what we were in for. We talked for maybe 20 or 30 minutes, and after we finished the test, we went our separate ways. We didn’t exchange contact info, so there is a 99.9% chance I will never see this girl again. However, when we were both there and nervous about this test and needing a distraction, we were able to connect like that.

Same thing at the wedding. I went not knowing anybody who would be at my table (like I said, I knew people there, but they were going to be very busy with other things that night.)  I met some people about my age. I didn’t want to be friends with them, but they weren’t bad people, they weren’t dreadfully boring or crazy. They were fine. And that’s all you need sometimes in a social situation…just people to help pass the time. It doesn’t matter that you’ll never see them again, it’s just nice to meet somebody and talk about this crazy world we live in for a little while.

 

Is City Life More Stressful? July 13, 2011

A recently published study says that city life is likely to be more stressful than rural areas:

NEW YORK – This may come as no surprise to residents of New York City and other big urban centers: Living there can be bad for your mental health.

Now researchers have found a possible reason why. Imaging scans show that in city dwellers or people who grew up in urban areas, certain areas of the brain react more vigorously to stress. That may help explain how city life can boost the risks of schizophrenia and other mental disorders, researchers said.

Previous research has found that growing up in a big city raises the risk of schizophrenia. And there’s some evidence that city dwellers are at heightened risk for mood and anxiety disorders, although the evidence is mixed.

I was in New York City today. And I have to say, I was stressed. There are people everywhere, some of them great, some of them loud, inconsiderate, or crazy. You are crammed on a subway, crammed on a train, crammed on a sidewalk. There are more things to do, but there are more people who want to do those things.

This was not at rush hour–it was in the middle of the day. I can see the anxiety and stress that living in a large metropolitan area breeds. However, I certainly do see the benefits of that life, and maybe the stress is worth the excitement. There is probably more exciting leisure activities in New York than there is in a town of 77 people. So I agree with the stress–doing things causes stress. However, whether or not it is a bad thing and a necessary evil is another question, and one I can’t definitively answer.

$1 for Health Care July 7, 2011

This was news a few weeks ago, but it definitely got my attention:

Some people who need medical care but can’t afford it go to the emergency room. Others just hope they’ll get better. James Richard Verone robbed a bank.

Earlier this month, Verone (pictured), a 59-year-old convenience store clerk, walked into a Gastonia, N.C., bank and handed the cashier a note demanding $1 and medical attention. Then he waited calmly for police to show up.

He’s now in jail and has an appointment with a doctor this week.

News like this has come out every once in a while, and I’m actually surprised it doesn’t happen more often. It is legitimately crazy that we don’t have universal health care. Republicans don’t want it (it helps poor people). Democrats don’t want to push for it (helping poor people not worth the effort). People across the country delay urgent health needs because they can’t afford to pay for it. This is the United States, 2011.

I’d say we could be more like Sweden, but then I see stories like this:

Stockholm: At the “Egalia” preschool, staff avoid using words like “him” or “her” and address the 33 kids as “friends” rather than girls and boys.

From the color and placement of toys to the choice of books, every detail has been carefully planned to make sure the children don’t fall into gender stereotypes.

“Society expects girls to be girlie, nice and pretty and boys to be manly, rough and outgoing,” says Jenny Johnsson, a 31-year-old teacher. “Egalia gives them a fantastic opportunity to be whoever they want to be.”

The taxpayer-funded preschool which opened last year in the liberal Sodermalm district of Stockholm for kids aged 1 to 6 is among the most radical examples of Sweden’s efforts to engineer equality between the sexes from childhood onward.

Now, I can understand not forcing people into stereotypical gender roles. That’s a good idea. But a 2 year old boy is….a 2 year old boy. If a two year old boy wants to play with a Barbie, ok, I can accept that. But getting rid of gender alltogether? Too far.

What Can’t You Deep Fry? June 27, 2011

USA! USA! USA!

The deep-fried Kool-Aid is selling like deep-fried hot cakes, according to their famed creator, “Chicken” Charlie Boghosian.

Chicken Charlie’s is a staple of fried rations at fairs across the country. It sold 400 to 600 orders of deep-fried Kool-Aid per day the first weekend of the San Diego County Fair. That’s about double the rate of previous debut items, Boghosian said.

“That’s because it tastes so darn good,” Boghosian said of the Kool-Aid.

The deep-fried novelty takes the shape of a doughnut-hole. There are five per order. That breaks down to as much as 9,000 balls of deep-fried Kool-Aid eaten over opening weekend.

Boghosian said Chicken Charlie’s has already gone through 150 pounds of Kool-Aid powder and 1,500 pounds of flour. Chicken Charlie’s debuted deep-fried Klondike Bars and Pop Tarts in past years.

Fairgoers on Tuesday were also buying up the deep-fried Kool-Aid.

“It starts off tart and tangy, and then finishes really sweet… I love this stuff,” said Seth Baldwin of Vista.

So disgusting, I have to post it. And yet, I would probably try it (then again, I’ve said that about the KFC Double Down, which I still have yet to try).

Ranking the Beatles June 24, 2011

This week on the always entertaining Judge John Hodgman podcast, the esteemed judge heard an interesting case–is the Beatles White Album one of their top five records? Judge Hodgman ruled no, and I would have to agree–along with Sgt. Pepper, it is always overvalued in the Fab Four’s canon.

So, what then, would a proper list of the band’s best albums look like? I am certainly not qualified to answer that, but because this is a blog, and bloggers are not qualified to answer anything and do anyway, I may as well give it a shot.

1. Revolver–no brainer.
2. Rubber Soul
3. Abbey Road
4. Let it Be–always unfairly maligned. Yes, the band was completely disjointed at this point. No, it’s not a cohesive album. But it’s a bunch of really good songs.
5. Help!
6. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band–“A Day in the Life,” “Getting Better,” and a lot of stuff that’s just kinda ehhh.
7. The White Album–six or seven pretty good songs, but just oh so much filler…
8. Hard Day’s Night
9. With the Beatles
10. Beatles for Sale

You Can’t Bash Classics June 21, 2011

Bob Hoskins:

What is the worst job you’ve done?
Super Mario Brothers.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
Super Mario Brothers.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I wouldn’t do Super Mario Brothers.

Source: Doot doot doo doo doot doo doo
You can bash this film, sadly. Super Mario Brothers is one of those awful films I used to watch anyway. When it’s a movie you grew up with, you ignore faults. But yeah…it was pretty dreadful, artistically. Not like 11 year old me cared.

Going to all 5 boroughs this summer–Queens edition. June 16, 2011

As a mini-prequel to my post on the Muppets I will write soon…I will be going to this over the summer. Most likely multiple times.

http://www.movingimage.us/exhibitions/2011/07/16/detail/jim-hensons-fantastic-world/

Promoting Forgiveness May 14, 2011

In some circles, it appears that saying you believe in forgiveness is like saying that you like to kick babies in the face. Forgiveness is something that everybody agrees with in theory, but once there is an actual thing to forgive, nobody wants to.

Now, a lot of the reason I believe in forgiveness so much is that I, just maybe, have a big mouth and need to be forgiven for things. Completely fair. Usually it’s that I say something stupid in response in response to something stupid somebody else says. Usually I say something bad, they say something worse. Then I forgive them for it, and they don’t forgive me for it.

I just don’t get it. People need to drop grudges in this world, but it just doesn’t happen. They go on and on and on. I have one person in my life I won’t forgive, and trust me, she deserves it. But that’s it. It’s not worth it to continue to resent other people, because we’re all just human. Humans do stupid stuff. Often. So it’s not worth it to hold grudges and not forgive.

A Worthless Debate April 20, 2011

For whatever reason, some people seem to believe that there is some sort of debate over who was better, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. There is no argument-the Beatles are steak, the Stones are Spam.

The prevailing wisdom was that the Beatles were the best band and the Stones were the coolest. I don’t know what is cool about having a guitarist who has been legally dead since 1973 & a singer who looks like he is constantly sucking on a lemon. That isn’t cool to me.

Maybe youth is to blame. The Beatles broke up more than 40 years ago. The Rolling Stones are nearing a 265 years old and are still at it. I never saw Jagger when he was cool, I only know the ancient version.

What I do know is that the recordings are there for anyone to hear, and to me that is what makes music. If image mattered to me, I would care when Lady Gaga dressed up in a shirt made of condoms, tree branches and batteries. But I don’t care. Image is irrelevant.

In a way, I do understand the live show aspect. But the Beatles never had a chance. They played shows to screaming teens who made listening impossible. They couldn’t compete with the Stones live, because they couldn’t actually play live. They were disqualified by their popularity. Do I think they would have been better if they could have toured? No doubt.

In the end, the music IS what matters, and the Rolling Stones have written about 5 good songs in 50 years. Once a decade is only good in….well, I have no idea what it is good in. The Beatles, on the other hand, have six or seven brilliant albums, composed in only a few years. This is not a debate. In debates, either answer is acceptable. The Beatles are far better than the Rolling Stones, or any other band that has ever existed. Case closed.